Just before I turned 10 years old, my family moved from Michigan to Tennessee. I was supposed to get to have a sleep-over birthday party for my 10th birthday party. It's kind of hard to do that when you don't know anyone because you moved far away. Then I started school in the fall and it was awful. It was hard. The kids made fun of they way I talked. I just wanted to "go home." Back to what I knew. Back to people who knew me. I started having bad stomach aches and head aches, which were finally realized to be stress/anxiety related. Change was not my thing, you see. And that move was a huge change to my 10-year-old self. My wise parents took me to see a counselor for help coping with the changes.
A tool that he equipped me with was to spend 2o minutes twice a day "looking for butterflies." I would sit in a chair, close my eyes and imagine I was looking at a meadow as far as I could see with flowers (my choice was daisies) in it. Then in the forefront I would imagine butterflies. And then I'd "watch" the butterflies fluttering by, back and forth in my mind. It is a tool I still use to this day, most often at night when I can't sleep especially because too many thoughts start crowding my mind.
Change is still not my thing. I'm not the kind of gal who wants new furniture or new paint every year. I like things steady. And so here I am, in the midst of huge life changes and I find myself looking for butterflies more frequently. How interesting, though, that the object that helps bring calm to my mind is an object that embodies change. The butterfly who must go through a period of waiting...before it can become what it was intended to be.
In a book I'm reading (When the Heart Waits
by Sue Monk Kidd) the author reminded me that the butterfly is often used as a symbol for the soul or psyche. So again, when my soul is in most need of respite the exercise of watching butterflies often brings peace. And it is in the stillness and the "waiting" that I am blessed with closer connection with God. And I feel Him reminding me that while I wait (for now) He is still active in my life. I am loved and not forgotten. And the unchanging God is of the universe is continuing to change me into who I am intended to be.
A tool that he equipped me with was to spend 2o minutes twice a day "looking for butterflies." I would sit in a chair, close my eyes and imagine I was looking at a meadow as far as I could see with flowers (my choice was daisies) in it. Then in the forefront I would imagine butterflies. And then I'd "watch" the butterflies fluttering by, back and forth in my mind. It is a tool I still use to this day, most often at night when I can't sleep especially because too many thoughts start crowding my mind.
Change is still not my thing. I'm not the kind of gal who wants new furniture or new paint every year. I like things steady. And so here I am, in the midst of huge life changes and I find myself looking for butterflies more frequently. How interesting, though, that the object that helps bring calm to my mind is an object that embodies change. The butterfly who must go through a period of waiting...before it can become what it was intended to be.
In a book I'm reading (When the Heart Waits
by Sue Monk Kidd) the author reminded me that the butterfly is often used as a symbol for the soul or psyche. So again, when my soul is in most need of respite the exercise of watching butterflies often brings peace. And it is in the stillness and the "waiting" that I am blessed with closer connection with God. And I feel Him reminding me that while I wait (for now) He is still active in my life. I am loved and not forgotten. And the unchanging God is of the universe is continuing to change me into who I am intended to be.